Young people:
Ready to be a teen who doesn't feel alone, isn't angry, and has an idea of what you want to do?
You can get your life can get headed in a powerful direction. It is possible.
This is not what you expected. You expected becoming a senior, going to college, getting a job, or doing whatever you are doing would make everything obvious. But it hasn't. You aren't happy. You are frustrated. And you are still confused.
You want to do something that matters. You crave doing something real. You at least want to do what you want to do - not what someone expects you to do.
You've had enough feeling like your dreams are being shot down, like your feelings and emotions are being trampled on and labeled invalid, and that you are screwed up. (Hopefully, you haven't begun to think that it is your fault.)
Enough of the class projects, the papers, the preparation for a time later in your life when you can do something useful. You are ready NOW to figure out what you can do in the world.
But, if you express these ideas or share these desires, you are lucky no one understands. If you are unlucky, you get laughed at, dismissed, or ignored. Everyone, especially adults, seems scared to step out of line and do something different than what you are "supposed to" do.
What people are missing is that you are being tormented and crushed by "what I am supposed to do".
In some cases the boredom, the uselessness, the apathy, that happen in your school is annoying, but more and more often it's insulting.
Having the adults in your life constantly telling you that the most important thing for you is to pay attention to the "not real" things you are supposed to be learning, while all around you are real life difficulties that you want to help with is annoying.
Not only are you feeling like what you are learning is meaningless. You find that it is way to easy. The teaching is not very good. You are bored a lot of the time, feeling like you already know the material, that the material doesn't matter, or you could learn it by just reading the book. You only go to class because you have to.
It's possible that you are feeling really challenged. You are working really hard and doing okay. but you hate what you are studying. You are going it because someone else thought it would be a good idea.
Confusing Times
You might not know it, or even care, but these are confusing times. Making decisions, figuring out what you want to do, or deciding about school is hard.
There are all kinds of things happening in the world that are crazy, but you watch adults ignoring what is going on, letting things happen that seem outrageous, and then they pay lots of attention to things that don't seem like they matter. For example, a lot of energy is spent paying attention to homework and grades, but not a lot of energy put towards being healthy.
As soon as you start to care about something in the world, something else happens, and there is another significant thing to care about. It's like as soon as you commit to doing work to help, the game changes and what you were going to do is not as significant as it was a week ago.
How are you supposed to make a decision when you are worried that something better is going to come along as soon as you choose?
It makes it hard.
But, learning is hard and frustrating. It's time to fight through the hard stuff, but instead of trying the same thing (again), it's time for a new game. A game that you will find rewarding and useful.
I promise that there are ways for you to find a path that you like, that challenges you, that inspires you, that matters.
In fact, they would never say it or ask for it, but they desperately need you. They spend their days fighting for survival - avoiding getting teased or left out, hoping not to make a humiliating mistake, trying to meet their own expectations. They are on a mission of discovery trying to figure out who they really are while being assaulted by pressure and high expectations.
Unfortunately, right now you feel alone. You don't know to do with the ideas and thoughts that you are having.
It can be different. It does not have to be this way. There is more than the sadness, frustration, and anger.
A great place to start is with a my complementary Know Yourself workbook and bi-weekly article. The workbook is designed to help you understand the young person in your life.
If you want to feel the freedom and satisfaction of being a successful parent who is really helping your teen, you are in the right place. It is possible to do something the young adult in your life responds to and then uses to make one of those difficult decisions they face at this time of life. It’s important for you to be an essential piece of their successful navigation of this stage of their life! It might look different that you imagine it, but you can make a huge difference.
If you are done struggling and ready for some relief, here is how to get started - my complementary Know Yourself workbook and my bi-weekly yEs-zine.
If you are wondering whether we can help your particular situation, check out our Is This You? page.
"I am massively grateful that my kids are working with you. My daughter told me yesterday that she loves working with you and that it is making a big difference in her life. She feels way, way more confident than she did last semester."
Mike, father of college sophomore
"Morgan's Powerful vision should be required reading for every young person who has ever wondered, questioned, and hoped for something more out of life."
Jay Roberts, Assistant Professor of Education and Environmental Studies, Earlham College, Richmond, IN